Shifters 2: In Love And War
by Mrowrkat98
Summary: We're too young to be soldiers, fighting a war that shouldn't exist.
1. Bloody Battle

**A/N: YAY! The second book is up. From now on I'll have single-POV books. This one is Sarah. Don't worry if you haven't read the first book. Though I reccomend it, it isn't necessary to understand this one.**

_Full summary: Sarah, Jennifer, Danielle and Cassidy have to fight a war they know nothing about. As Sarah prepares for battle, she still has to deal with the aftermath of Jennifer's little "show." She's angry, depressed and confused, until she meets someone who changes her whole view on things._

Chapter 1

"I'm so sorry," he said to the absent look on my face.

Sorry. Everybody was sorry. It was all I had been hearing all week.

Were they sorry? Probably not. No, they were just tired of staring at the empty look on my face. Tired of seeing my eyes cast downward. Tired of watching tears crawl their way down my face.

I hadn't shown up at school for the first few days after Jennifer's suicide. It would have been too emotional. After all, half the school had watched her fall to her death. Undoubtedly, everyone would have been talking about it.

The guy who had told me he was sorry was named Dave. His eyes held a glimmer of something real. His tone was mourning and his hand was on mine in an attempt to be comforting. I recoiled from his touch.

Now everyone had receded into a sort of silent mourning, or in some cases, fake mourning. Not everyone in our school was that compassionate, but most of them didn't want to be viewed as cold-hearted either.

Mind you, there were a few.

"Can we get on with the lesson?" A voice asked. His name was Andrew. He wasn't very smart, but he was still obsessed with school and in general, not a very nice person. "I mean, I don't want to have a bunch of work to do at the end of the semester."

We had been doing review all week, not that I had actually done any of it. Not that I was able to.

"No, Andrew," the teacher said in her best sympathetic voice. "I don't believe that many people would be able to concentrate on the work right now." She shot a glance at me, and I had to pretend not to notice.

Frankly, I was also tired of tears, tired of downcast eyes. I was tired of talking to the police and the councilors and my parents who had gotten a phone call on their way home from a business trip. I was tired of people calling and offering words of comfort and I was tired of thinking about it. I was exhausted all the time from crying, from lack of sleep, from trying to ignore the jerks who didn't seem to give a damn.

"I just don't get why we have to make everyone fall behind just because of some stupid emo girl."

He gave me a sideways look. Of course, my eyes were down, so he obviously didn't know that I would see it. He was testing me, pushing my buttons because he blamed me for this whole thing. After all, I was mostly the only one Jennifer ever spoke to.

She was dead and he still had the nerve to say something so rude. If he was looking for a fight, he got it.

I stood up, not speaking. Not trusting myself to speak. I kept my head down, and I know that it gave the effect that I was rising from the dead. A dancer knows how to use body language to act. It's the only way we know _how_ to act.

I took the two long steps it took to get to his desk. It would have been normal steps for most people, but I was fairly short. He was sitting there, staring at me, unafraid. The kind of arrogance that comes from being a pretty tall guy. He looked at me and uttered a very short, sarcastic, "sorry."

And I struck. Suddenly his seat was tipped over and I was on top of him, scratching, hitting, punching. I even bit his hand when he tried to push me off. There wasn't a whole lot I could do that would damage this guy, but I sure as hell tried. For the first few moments it was chaos. I couldn't figure out how to pin him, how to beat him. At last I started to understand where he was and where I was. I was still over him with one knee in his stomach and one on the floor. He was holding my left forearm and my right wrist above his chest. It was a power struggle that I would surely lose: him trying to push me away and me trying to get my hands in contact with his face. I twisted to free my right wrist from his grasp and delivered a blow across his nose with the heel of my hand. It was bleeding. Not broken, I hadn't quite hit him hard enough for that, but definitely bleeding. I laughed triumphantly, though it came out as more of a grunt. Suddenly I felt his leg shift and his foot hit me squarely in the stomach, making me roll onto the floor and hit a desk with my head. I was vaguely aware of the teacher yelling and Andrew getting up off the floor. I didn't care. I just stayed laying where I was, eyes staring forward blankly and gasping for breath. I was lost in my own rage. I didn't care anymore.

After a moment someone helped me up. I wasn't willing to stand on my own, but they forced me to my feet and I was left with a decision of standing by myself or falling and probably hitting my head again.

I felt weak. I noticed that tears were streaming down my face, probably because I was still trying to catch my breath. My legs were shaky, but they held me up as the teacher (Who I now realized had been the one to pick me up) dragged me out of the classroom, yelling at the remaining students not to move. I expected her to take me to the office, but instead she took me to the bathroom.

"Clean up and go home," she said. Her eyes were compassionate, despite her hard tone.

Then she left. I stood there, alone in the bathroom. I looked into one of the mirrors. It wasn't such a pretty sight.

It wasn't that I was badly beaten. I only had a bruise on my cheek. I did, however, have blood splattered across my face as if I had committed murder with some brutally painful weapon rather than simply made someone's nose bleed. I wasn't sure exactly how _that_ had happened, but I washed it off anyway.

I was wearing sweats and my hair was tied in a ponytail that I had made without even bothering to brush it. I had no makeup on, which I really resented because my skin wasn't as even as I'd like it to be. The bruise under my eye was slowly turning darker and my eyes were still red, but for the most part I didn't look like as big of a mess as I had a few minutes before.

I left the school without telling the office. No doubt they would have insisted on calling my parents, and I wasn't excited about explaining myself to my parents quite yet.

((What happened?)) a voice asked.

"Hi Jennifer," I said.


	2. A NotSoFairytale

**A/N: Sorry I've been MIA guys! I've been completely engrossed in the Twilight series and then when I found out about the Host I had to read that too, just because of how similar it is to the Animorphs series. Seriously, have any of you read it? Do! It's SOOOOOO good. But enough of my endorsements P I should be posting regularly now, for this story and Becoming Mary Sue. Thanks for your patience!**

Chapter 2

My name is Sarah.

Jennifer sat only a few meters away, a raven.

Now I know what you're thinking: she's nuts. She thinks that dead people are still alive as animals. Yeah, definitely a wacko.

Actually, I'm about to start sounding way crazier. See, there's this alien invasion going on that nobody knows about yet. Nobody, that is except my friends and I.

Well, I suppose they're my friends now. Cassidy and Danielle hardly qualified for my acquaintances before this whole thing happened, but now we've all been trusted with the fate of the world.

Go figure.

It was only last Saturday when Jennifer and I went to the park for a walk. We had no idea what was coming. Or maybe _she_ had some idea, but I had absolutely none. Anyway, it was there that we met Cassidy and Danielle and went for a walk with them. We stumbled upon a piece of alien technology that looked like a simple blue cube. We didn't know that when we touched it, it would give us the power to shapeshift.

Yeah, you heard me right, shapeshift.

Then, to add to the weirdness, we watched a dying centaur-scorpion alien get a slug pushed into its head.

That was our first time seeing an andalite or a yeerk. The andalite being the centaur thing and the yeerk being the slug.

Then there were also the hork-bajir. They were the scariest. Tall, raptor-like things except with longer arms and blades shooting out of every possible place you could think of. We barely escaped with our lives.

Then the strangest thing of all happened. Jennifer, who is both deaf and blind, had a dream that told her that she could shapeshift because of the cube. What she didn't know was that it would restore her ability to see.

Yeerks are parasites. They get inside your brain and suddenly you have no control over yourself at all. They act like you and nobody can even tell the difference.

Yeerks are the reason that Jennifer had to fake suicide. Her little 'miracle' of being able to see again wouldn't go unnoticed for long, and we couldn't risk the yeerks showing interest in that, especially because they seemed to be hanging out around the hospital where Jennifer lived. So Jennifer insisted that she pretend to die so no one would look for her and she could help us spying on people with yeerks in their heads.

I know, stupid, right? That's what I said.

That brings me to the point where I'm talking to a raven.

((What happened?)) she asked again.

"Andrew happened," I grumbled. Of course, I signed too out of habit. Even in the past few days when Jennifer wasn't with me I had been signing. It wasn't a part of the act, but it sure added to the effect of the poor girl missing her other half.

((I hate that guy,)) she said. ((No matter. By the looks of it he got what he deserved.))

She was looking at me. I looked down and I noticed that my sweater had flecks of blood on it. I had never heard Jennifer approve of my fighting, but I suppose that she was a bit bitter about being treated so rudely after her 'death.'

'Well you'd be right,' I signed, now deciding that speaking aloud probably wasn't such a good idea in case someone overheard.

((Today's the day,)) she said, changing the subject.

'Petting zoo.'

The four of us had decided that it was time to get some real ammunition. You see, the way our shapeshifting worked, we had to touch an animal before we could actually become it. So far all we had used were a couple of rats, a dog and a cat. We were seriously unprepared for anything that was probably going to happen.

((You know what you're going to take?)) she asked.

'No. You?' I was walking away from the school and towards the road out of town. It was going to take me a while to get all the way to Danielle's farm by foot. I marveled at the idea that it wouldn't be long before I would be able to fly there and it would take half the time. But for now at least, I had to walk.

((I already got one,)) she said proudly. ((A caribou. I went earlier today.))

I almost resented that she could do anything she wanted without me now. In a way, she had been bound to me by her disabilities. I was her only chance at a nearly normal life, and she had taken the chance without hesitation. Jennifer had been my only friend, and I had been fine with that.

But now, with nothing keeping her tied to me, I was beginning to wonder if we had ever been real friends.

"Cool," I said a bit shortly. There was a long silence.

I considered which animal I would take for fighting. It had to be something powerful. Something that nobody would expect to see flying at them. But it still had to be agile enough to avoid attacks and guns. Nothing too bulky would do.

((I'm sorry you've had to go through this,)) Jennifer said. Her voice was sympathetic. I was so tired of sympathy.

I said the line that I had rehearsed so many times in front of my mirror. "It's okay. As long as you're safe."

She seemed to buy it.

((Thanks. By the way, I can't wait to show you this place. I know you've been busy all week what with councilors and beating up jerks like Andrew and all, but I've been really excited to show you.))

She was talking about a treehouse on Danielle's property. Apparently her parents never disturbed it, so it was an ideal place for Jennifer to live now that she was supposed to be long gone down a river.

"Really?" I asked, only half-interested.

((It's beautiful. Like something out of a fairy tale. I think you'd love it.))

I was silent, now caught up in my little grudge toward Jennifer for possibly using me all these years just so she could live normally. Maybe she was lying all along and didn't even see me as a friend at all, but a tool.

Once on our little walk/fly, she landed off in the woods to change back to human and then to raven again, because we're not allowed to stay as an animal for more than two hours at a time. None of us knows why, of course. It's a rule Jennifer was given in her dream, and considering how real the rest of her dream had been, we figured that it'd be a bad idea to break the rules.

After a long time we arrived at Danielle's house. We didn't go right up the driveway, because that would have been stupid. Jennifer was supposed to be dead, and dead people walking up your driveway is definitely cause for suspicion. Instead, we cut through the woods and I followed a raven—a real raven, mind you—through the woods. A very strange feeling came over me, as if I were a princess in a fairy tale that could talk to animals. It should have made me feel better, but instead I felt sick.

((Home sweet home,)) said the raven.

I had to admit, it _was_ sweet. The treehouse that stood before me was nothing like what I had expected. If I had stood underneath it and reached up, I couldn't have touched the boards that made up the first floor unless I grew at least two feet taller.

Yes, I said first floor. There were only two, but the bottom was at the very least the size of my living room, and I have a really big living room. There was a door at one side of the house where the _spiral_ staircase met the first floor, and another door on the opposite side where the staircase met further on. I'm talking a real, swinging-on-a-hinge door here. Plus, there were windows on the sides. Plexiglass windows. The outside was a sort of stained brown, like the colour of a log cabin. I swear I was so jealous at that moment that I felt like I was five again.

"Whoa."

((No kidding. Wait until you see the inside.)) At this, she landed on the stairs where it met the first door and started to change back to human. I waited patiently as she grew and feathers were sucked into her skin. Trust me, not pretty. Really not pretty. She was fast, but that didn't mean that it was any more sensible than mine was. One of her legs suddenly withered into her body and began to grow anew, but the damage had been done. Thrown off balance, she tumbled off the stairs and towards the ground.

I yelled. I lunged to try to catch her, but the only result involved getting kicked in the face by her one good leg as she struggled to right herself in midair. She landed in a heap on the ground and I was clutching my cheek and trying to see through the stars exploding in my face to make sure she was okay.

"Jennifer," I said/signed, "are you okay?"

She nodded, wheezing. She looked okay. Aside from gasping for breath, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her. When she had caught her breath, she signed, 'I just got the wind knocked out of me.' She laughed lightly and stood up.

'Don't do that again,' I signed.

'Thanks. I'll remember that.'


	3. Die

Chapter 3

When I had been given the full tour, Jennifer and I were sitting at the table in her little shack. It was a short table, because that was all Danielle could provide. That was okay though, because at least we could sit at it without chairs.

The floor was normal wood, but it looked as if it had been sanded and glazed or something, because it wasn't splintering like wood usually does. Whoever had built this treehouse was really good at it. But the treehouse wasn't the best part.

Right beside the treehouse was a clearing. And there was a stream running through it and—I'm not even making this up—a freaking arched bridge across the stream. I don't know who they paid to do this, but whoever it was had taken a lot of money.

There were imperfections of course. The grass was overgrown in places where passing deer had not eaten it. What had obviously been a garden years before was now filled with weeds. The bridge was evidently getting old and trees that looked like they should be bearing fruit were looking pretty pathetic.

But like Jennifer said, 'Nothing that couldn't be fixed.'

It made me sick to my stomach to think that she could fix all this stuff by herself. She was supposed to _need_ me. And then it made me even sicker to realize that I had just thought that.

"Hida-ho!" Danielle announced as she appeared by the treehouse with Cassidy trailing behind. "Are we ready to get out of here?" Jennifer and I descended to meet them.

"And how are we supposed to get there and back before night?" Cassidy asked.

Danielle grinned.

"Oh stop it! You've been ignoring me all day. Just tell me what your plan is!" she snapped. "I'm not staying the night anywhere if that's the idea!"

"Oh, it's a lot shorter by the way the crow flies," Danielle said, unable to keep a straight face.

"Crows?" Cassidy asked. "That was your big secret? I could have guessed that!" I found myself wondering if she was lying.

Jennifer disappeared into the treehouse and brought back a big wire cage with a raven in it.

"Well, not really crows, but as close as it gets," Danielle commented. "I can't wait to fly! It'll be soooo cool!"

I hope that at this point you all know that I was translating everything for Jennifer.

'It _is_ cool,' Jennifer commented to me after putting down the cage.

"Where did you get that cage?" I asked Danielle.

"I got it a long time ago for my cat. My parents got me one before they got Magic, but it sort of attacked Mark and we had to get rid of it. He hasn't liked cats since, and I don't blame him. They're nasty little animals if you ask me." Her voice had gotten almost vicious, and all of us were a little surprised. "Sorry," she muttered after realizing that she'd overreacted a little, "I'm more of a dog person."

Danielle opened the cage and stuck her hand inside. The raven made a move for the open door, but Danielle grabbed its wing. Needless to say, it didn't like that much. It whipped its head around and sunk its beak into the base of her thumb. She jerked her hand back and the bird darted forward. Luckily, I was close enough to grab it like a runaway chicken, pinning one wing to its side. The other flapped feebly and I closed my eyes and concentrated like I had on Pickles and the rat.

The raven stopped flapping its wing and folded it to its side. We passed it around. Cassidy went to put it back in the cage, but Danielle stopped her.

"We don't need it anymore," she explained. "You can let it go if you want."

So Cassidy put the bird down on the grass and it hopped away.

"Let's go," Danielle said. "You know the way, don't you Jennifer?"

I asked her and she said she did.

So we all stripped off our outer clothes, stashed them in the treehouse and changed into ravens. It was a disgusting show of strangely shaped skin and feathers, but eventually there were four ravens hanging out on the ground.

((Lead the way,)) Danielle said. Jennifer took off ahead of her and the four of us followed, leaving plenty of space for each other. It was mostly a silent flight, aside from the few comments needed to navigate and explain how we were going to get in to the zoo. It was free for students but we weren't about to change from ravens back to people at the front gate.

So we landed a little way down the road and changed back in the forest. We all wore a mix of leotards, spandex and tank tops, but at least we were covered. Jennifer however, changed back into a raven. We didn't want to risk her being seen by someone who was supposed to think she was dead.

We walked out of the forest and to the front gate.

"We look like a bunch of freaks," Cassidy complained.

"What do you care?" I asked her, pointedly looking at her hair. "You make a show of standing out, after all."

She immediately slipped away from complaining and bit back like a dog whose tail has been pulled. "Right, I forgot. You must be suffering the most, eh Barbie? Is this a fashion crime?" she patted her hair. "Are you _Fashion Police Barbie_? You gonna arrest me in the name of all that goes with miniskirts?"

I knew she was just trying to get a rise out of me, but it was working.

"Oh yeah. You bet I will," I growled, trying to suppress the urge to hit something. I had been here once when I was little. The only thing I could remember was the nasty smell and the tiger, and both were still there.

I noticed her as soon as I walked in the door. She was the main attraction, of course. Her name was Diana, which I thought was a pretty suited name, considering that Diana was the Roman goddess of the moon and the hunt. Of course, I might have been the only person ever to notice that. It might not have even been a factor when they named her, and now the staff only called her Di, which sounded even more sinister.

When I walked in and saw that tiger pacing in her cage, I made my choice.

"Di," I muttered.

"Gee, how nice of you," Cassidy replied.

"No," I said. "I want Di." I had now attracted everyone's attention and pointed to the tiger.

"Well Die is what you're gonna get if you go in that cage," Cassidy said.

I ignored her.

"You're sure?" Danielle asked, glancing at the cage.

"Positive," I whispered. "Can you imagine what we could do with that kind of power on our side?" I made sure to sign in order to keep up my act and help Jennifer along.

((True,)) Jennifer said. She was perched on the roof of a supply shed. ((If all of us had tigers, we could do a lot of damage to the yeerks.))

"All of us as the same animal?" Danielle whispered. "No, that's a bad idea. What if we need to get into a small spot? Diversity is good. We should all pick something different." She was careful to scan around in case someone was listening, but there weren't many people around.

"How are you even going to get in?" Cassidy demanded. "The gate is locked and there's a double fence. Tigers aren't the kind of animal you pet, you know?"

Danielle had already thought of that. "I'll come back with her at night. They'd keep the tiger in a larger enclosure then and we'll go in when it's sleeping. In the meantime, we'll browse around for me and Cassidy and if Sarah finds something else she likes she can take that instead."

I was surprised. Danielle had really stepped up to the plate. What surprised me even more was that it didn't bother me. Usually I hate it when someone tells me what to do, but for some reason or another, I was just content to listen to what Danielle told me. She was in charge without ever declaring it or belittling anyone. I had to respect her for that.

We walked around and pretended to be interested in all the monkeys and parrots that the staff wanted to show us. Overall, it was very boring and we saw nothing of any use to us.

As soon as she saw someone she knew, Cassidy sprung into action.

"Bella!"

The girl turned around. She was definitely one of Cassidy's friends. She was thin and short but had a very skimpy, way-too-tight tank top on and very trashy looking cutoff jean shorts. She probably would have looked much nicer in a pair of capris or maybe a sundress. And somebody needed to do something about her hair. It looked like it had been bleached into the next millennium. Right now it was a sickly faded pink. It was a shame, because she looked like the kind of girl who could pull off any natural hair colour. She was wearing a deep blue baseball cap that had "guide" printed on the front along with the tiger logo for the petting zoo.

"Oh, hey Cassidy. How's life?" She had managed to respond flawlessly, but there was some obvious confusion on her face as to why_ we_ were hanging out with Cassidy.

"Pretty good," Cassidy replied smoothly. "We're doing this science thing about an animal and we've gotta pick one. You got some time to show us the really cool stuff?"

"Yeah, sure," Bella said.

Bella wasn't in our science class. Then again, neither was Danielle, but maybe she didn't know that. It was a good excuse, I had to give Cassidy credit for that one, not that I ever would say it aloud of course.

First, we went to see the snakes.

"That's a milk snake," Bella said, pointing to a small one.

"But what about the really deadly ones?" I asked impatiently. So Bella took us to the really deadly snakes.

I had made my choice. This was boring. Why did I still have to hang around? I made a point of asking Danielle this. Why? I don't know. It felt wrong to do something without talking to her first after she had so obviously taken charge.

"Because we have to leave together. We're a team now, like it or not."

I looked at Cassidy, who was marvelling at an incredibly poisonous snake that was now completely useless because its poison had been milked out.

"Not," I muttered. "Definitely not."

Jennifer had been following us, and was now on the ground not far away, enjoying popcorn that some kid had dropped in the dirt. I gave her a look.

((It's good,)) she commented. ((The raven is pretty obsessed with garbage, okay? This is the best way to curb it.))

"On to the equines!" Cassidy announced. We paraded past the other reptiles and into an area that looked very much like a farm. There were goats, pigs and geese. We weren't stopping here of course. We went right through.

Cassidy fell back from her place ahead of us with Bella. "I got mine," she whispered.

"What?" Danielle asked.

"That really poisonous snake. The Black Mamba. I figure that when I change, the poison will come back like Jen's sight did."

"Maybe," was all Danielle said.

"Let's hope so," Cassidy said before catching up with Bella.

Before long we came to bigger animals. Zebras, gazelles, giraffes and about seven other kinds of hoofed animal were there, including the Caribou.

"There!" Danielle said. "The big-horned sheep!"

I looked at her, alarmed. Wasn't she giving us away?

"We should do them for our project!"

I relaxed. It was okay, we had cover.

Danielle was very excited. "Can we go in? I need to get a good look at it so I can draw it."

"Okay," Bella said nervously. I'm not completely sure, but I think that she would have licked the ground we walked on if we thought it was a sensible thing for her to do. She was very obviously desperate for good friends. It was almost sad. I hoped we hadn't asked her to do anything against the rules that she could be fired for.

We entered the enclosure and she closed the door behind us. She picked something up out of a container on the inside of the fence and made a clicking noise with her tongue.

"Can I see a male one?" Danielle asked. "They're the ones with the big horns, right? They'll be the better ones to draw."

"Sure," Bella said.

Three big-horned sheep trotted over to us. Luckily, one of them had the horns. Bella gave all three of them the little treats in her hand that I could now see were sugar. She cautiously put her hand on the big guy's side and moved over to a place where she'd have more control over him.

I was nearly positive that this was against the rules at this point and Bella really didn't know what she was doing.

Danielle stepped forward anyway and put her hand on the animal's side. Then, so she didn't look suspicious, she patted the sheep's brow with her other hand and felt his horns a little. He looked sleepy like Pickles had when I'd done the same thing to him.

"I think we've found our animal," Danielle announced. "What do you think?"

"Oh yeah," I said enthusiastically. "That's the one." I was signing. And not very good at faking enthusiasm, so I guess it made for a very pitiful effect.

"Thanks, Bella," Cassidy said.

"Can we see the birds now?" Danielle asked.

"The birds are back there," Bella said, pointing.

"No," Danielle insisted. "I mean the real birds, like birds of prey. Ones that you would see around here."

"Yeah," Bella said, "they're over there on the way out. The only one we have that lives in this area is an osprey though. You probably didn't see him because he was feeding just a while ago and we don't like him tearing up rats in front of the public."

"To the osprey then," Danielle said.

The osprey was very tame. Bella had to go into the back room and get a leather glove so she could hold him, but the osprey's claws were gentle and when we each touched him. I'm pretty sure it was again, against the rules, but we got what we needed anyway.

And we left, just like that. It felt too easy, almost wrong. We could just walk right out of there with our spandex outfits and the ability to turn into some very dangerous animals. All except for me, of course. I would be going back later.

And I did. At ten o-clock, I opened my window and flew out as a raven. I didn't want to be an osprey at night. It was a tiring flight all the way to Danielle's house, but I made it okay. She and Jennifer met me in the little clearing by the treehouse and I changed back to myself.

Danielle insisted that Jennifer should stay behind. If something were to go wrong and we weren't back in three hours, she was to get Cassidy and come looking for us. Again, I was surprised at the ease Danielle could give orders. She just said it, and everybody knew it was the most reasonable thing for us to do. Like she was just giving input we could all agree on.

So Danielle and I changed into ravens and took off. It was a silent flight, once again. We were sort of caught up in our own thoughts lately.

((If we land inside the cage, we don't have to worry about getting there later,)) Danielle said, ((but we should probably figure out where Di is first.

So we flew over to the cage and looked. A raven's eyes aren't that amazing in the dark, but I could make out the trees and basic shape of the land. It wasn't long before I found Diana, the huntress sleeping. Since then, I've read that tigers usually sleep during the day when the sun is high and then hunt at night. Apparently this wasn't how it always worked, because Di was definitely asleep. I settled down a good distance from her sleeping form and changed back into myself. I didn't know if touching the animal worked if you were already in a different form, but I didn't want to be a one-bite-meal in case Di woke up.

Danielle had landed beside me and changed back as well. Before I could speak to her though, she'd already begun changing into the ram.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

Danielle smiled, but it was a twisted, disgusting smile because her teeth were growing and her mouth was in the middle of sprouting from her face.

((I'm getting ready. If Di here wakes up and attacks, at least we'll have some defence.))

"Danielle," I said, "you're prey."

((I know,)) she said nervously. ((Let's hope it doesn't come to that, okay?))

I was glad that she was scared too. Up until that point, I had been wondering if she didn't feel fear or something, because though it was fun, handling wild animals was a lot more dangerous than you'd think. If she was afraid, I could be the strong one and fake fearlessness.

Not that I was looking down on Danielle or anything. She was definitely taking one for the team in coming with me and offering to fight the tiger. I knew that as she was, if there was a fight she had no chance of winning and no chance of getting away. I knew that she had already thought of this, it wasn't out of foolishness that she was doing it. I admired her for that.

I would just have to be very sneaky.

I crept towards the tiger, watching the ground in front of me so that I didn't snap any twigs. My eyes would flick up to the tiger.

Step. Step. Flick. Step.

My heart was beating. I wondered if Di could hear it.

I stretched my hand out. Now or never.

CRACK!

I looked down. A broken twig. One of Di's eyes opened. My hand was inches from her side. Only one way out now.

I lunged. Grabbed her fur. Both her eyes were open and she whipped around to stare at me. A low growl.

_Oh god. Oh god_.

_Tiger, tiger, tiger_, I thought. _Tiger._

The growl died out and she gave me a blank stare. Then she decided that I wasn't worth the energy and laid her head back down to sleep.

I felt the touch finish and broke contact.

A weirdly scary purring noise came from the sleeping tiger, and my heart jumped into my throat. She was definitely asleep though, so I crept away. Danielle was nearly human again by the time I got back to her, and together we changed into ravens and flew away.

It wasn't until I was at home and in my bed that I felt safe.


	4. Barry

Chapter 4

His name was Barry.

"Sarah!" he called. I turned around in the hallway, unimpressed. This had been going on for the whole week. Why did I even care? I shouldn't have turned around. Now I was going to be delayed while he gave me a whole pity speech.

I stayed silent, but dropped my shoulder bag and made the sign for 'What?'

He looked down at my hands and frowned. He couldn't understand me. Good. "I'm sorry about Jennifer," he said.

I picked up my bag and turned around to leave. I was tired of hearing this. I was going to be late for class for this? I didn't think so.

"Wait!" he said. His voice was sharp, and rang through the halls even though I was still right there beside him. He was panicked, and when I looked back around at him, there was a twisted look of pain on his face. "I want to talk to you. You knew her the best, didn't you?" His voice was desperate; creaking like he hadn't drank any water in the last two days.

I didn't know what to say. But a little voice called out in the back of my head: _If you can act, so can he._

"I really liked Jennifer," he confessed with a flushed face. I already knew that. I was silent. He was nervous and hoping that I would say something. Maybe stop him. He looked down and spoke quietly. "And, do you think, maybe if I told her, maybe she wouldn't have—"

"Yes," I hissed before I could think about it. It was cold. So sickly cruel of me that the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. "I think she would be here right now." It wasn't as if I was lying. It was true. "But the question is: if she was still here, would you tell her?" My voice was like ice. It was loud.

"I was scared!"

"Of what?" I snapped. It felt good to just let it all out on him. I didn't even have to act. "Of being seen with the disabled girl?"

His face twisted more. "No!" he yelled, almost indignantly. It was actually sort of ironic.

"Of being rejected by her?"

"No!"

"Then what?" I demanded. "What were you scared of?"

"Never mind," he muttered and went to turn away. Now it was my turn. I grabbed his neck by the pressure points at the back and turned him around to face me. It was a cowardly thing to do, I know. But I had to find out. The bell had rung and the halls were empty except for the few stragglers who were now watching us. He had tilted his head back instinctively and was sort of cringing in pain. It was not a dignified pose, though after a moment he tried not to look like such a wimp.

"She was my best friend," I hissed. "If you hadn't been such an idiot, she might still be alive. Now tell me, what were you afraid of?" I let go of his neck.

His cheeks flushed redder. "You."

"ME?" I laughed loudly. "You think I was going to hurt you? Oh, what a man!" I mocked. There was a harsh edge to my voice that made me feel like I was going to cry.

"No!" he said. "That's not what I mean. I don't know sign language and I would have had to, you know, talk through someone who did. I started to learn." And he showed me the entire alphabet. It was clumsy and he had to think about every letter, but it was there. "See? I just really didn't want to talk to her through someone else."

I stared at him. Here was someone I could talk to about Jennifer. I had completely insulted him and blamed him for her suicide and he still wanted to talk to me.

"Meet me here at lunch," I said before I could change my mind. Then I walked away to my first class.

I was late, but that was a given. It's not like my teacher cared. Everyone was still surprised that I was coming to school. My parents had tried to stop me after rushing home from the business trip. They said it was too soon, but I told them that it's what Jennifer would have wanted and they let me go.

"Good morning, Sarah," the teacher said brightly.

I grunted in response.

My classes seemed to drag on for an eternity, but finally it was lunch and I walked down the hall and put my stuff in my locker.

I took my time. It wasn't like I was the one desperate to talk to Barry. If he really wanted to go to lunch with me, he would wait.

So I looked at the mirror at the back of my locker and swept my bangs to the side. I was trying not to wear too much makeup lately to make it look like I was mourning, but it was tough. Every little imperfection on my face was starting to drive me nuts, and my eyelashes looked stupid without mascara. I sighed heavily and slammed the locker shut, only to notice that I had left my wallet inside. I decided to let Barry cover the bill, and if he didn't want to, then I would just go without.

I rounded the corner and saw Barry. He was actually standing in the same spot that we had seen each other that morning. He was looking around, nervously. His eyes were weary and his cheeks were red, like he might have been crying. There was still a look of pain on his face and I was starting to feel just a shade guilty for going off on him.

He caught my eye and his expression brightened in the slightest. He hurried over to me. "Thank-you for, you know." He looked down. "I thought you weren't going to come—I'm sorry," he said all in one breath. "I really—"

I put my hand on his shoulder and he stopped talking. Quickly, I steered him over to the front door and we left. As soon as we were out the door he started talking again.

"I'm sorry I was too late," he blabbered. "I should have tried harder and I understand if you don't want to talk to me."

"Shut up," I said. As bad as I felt for him, he was getting really annoying. "There isn't much you can do about it now."

Short of revealing Jennifer to him, there really was nothing I could do either. She had made a life-changing decision without even thinking about how it would affect everyone else. Barry and I had a connection in that way, and I wanted to explore it. He had the potential to be a friend. And I really needed a friend. We arrived at the little cafe in a few minutes.

I led him inside and sat down at a small booth in the back. I wasn't excited about being noticed and drawing an entire pity party to the table.

He sat down across from me. There was a long silence between us as I stared at him, waiting for questions. Waiting for him. It wasn't as if I had a lot to say.

Eventually, he spoke.

"Why?" his voice cracked.

I thought about that and decided to settle on the truth. "I don't really know. She seemed happy the way she was."

"Did she ever," he said nervously, "you know, talk about me?"

I nearly laughed.

"She hardly knew you, genius. It's not like she saw you around." I was talking in that strange way that gave me goose bumps again.

"...Oh..."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Yes. We talked about you once."

He looked up, surprised. I think he was almost afraid that I was going to tell him that she hated his guts or something.

"I told her that I knew you liked her," I said. He didn't bother asking how I knew that.

He looked at me expectantly.

"I told her that, and she said..." Now I could hardly remember what she had said. "She said 'I'm not stupid. Are you telling me that out of all the girls in our school, he wants to go out with the disabled one?' So I told her that she was prettier than she thought."

He gulped. I guess he had never really seen what her personality was like. I suppose that was a bad impression.

"But she came around. She started asking about you. She remembered things you'd said before in class and said that you seemed nice. She said that she would have to get me to talk to you for her more."

"So..." he said ponderously, "she liked me?" The word liked was said in a sort of high-pitched, confused tone.

I nodded.

He swallowed again. "When?"

"Saturday," I said.

He hit his fist on the table and it startled me. He looked down.

I looked around. Everyone in the cafe was staring. I gave them hardened glances and they looked away.

He was shaking.

"Barry?" I said.

Shaking because he was sobbing.

I felt sick. Look at what Jennifer had done. I resolved to tell her what a horrible effect she'd had on the people in our school. She had to know the consequences of her actions.

But slowly, I came to a realization. It was like a lightbulb going off. I had told him it was his fault. This was my burden. I had put all of this on his shoulders.

Absent-mindedly trying to fix my mistake, I touched his hand. He stopped shaking and without looking up, stared at my hand. I brought my head down to his level. "I'm sorry," I said. I had to resist the temptation to tell him to act like a man. He was feeling the same kind of sickness I had been feeling for the last week.

He let out a long breath to try to calm down.

"Barry, it's not your fault."

He looked up at me, surprised again. I had revealed that I cared. A lot more than I usually would do. Usually I didn't care at all. But I felt responsible in part for Barry's misery. He looked like he wanted to speak but couldn't find the right words.

"I know what I said, okay?" I said, pulling my hand away from his. "I was mad. I didn't mean it like that."

He smiled a little. "Thank-you," he said. "I just, I wish I could tell her I was sorry."

I was a little angered by his smile, but his comment had extinguished it. I wanted to tell him that he could apologise. She was probably somewhere in town already. I just had to find her.

No.

What if he was one of them? I couldn't risk it. But come to think of it, a yeerk would never show so much compassion.

Still, no.

I had to force myself to say, "I'm sure she knows."


	5. Did I scare you?

Chapter 5

It was a long day. After lunch with Barry he seemed to think that he was my new best friend and decided to follow me around and sit beside me in my classes. I was tempted to ask him where his own friends were, but I was starting to grow a little spot of pity for this guy. He was, after all, truly traumatized, whereas I was only acting. It took more work that day than any other to keep acting depressed.

At one point, Danielle came up to me. She took a look at Barry. I shrugged. He was like a leech.

"Hey Sarah," she said. "I've adopted Keri." This was no surprise. It was how we were going to get Keri to be close to Jennifer. It was lucky that Keri was at the perfect age to be too old to be passed on to another needy owner.

I raised my eyebrows.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over and help her get comfortable. You know, I want her to feel at home."

"I'll be there," I said. Then we both powered through the rest of the day.

But finally, the last bell of the day rang and I was free. It took me less than thirty seconds to get out of the building and start towards the woods. If I was going to Danielle's house, I was going in style.

I dropped my bag after I was about fifty meters in and stashed it under a bush. I didn't have homework and it would be safe there until the next day. I also stashed there my outer layer of clothes. I had taken to wearing my tight tube top and spandex shorts underneath my clothes at all times in case of an emergency.

I initiated the change. It was still a disgusting feeling. I itched all over and my bones and organs shifting made me want to be sick, but it wasn't intolerable. This time I didn't shrink. Muscle bulked onto my limbs. Orange and black fur spread from head to toe. My sense of smell got better.

The tiger's awareness bubbled up under mine. I couldn't feel it that well, but there was a sort of cool confidence that came over me. Like I could take on the world. I felt so strong, so agile. It was wonderful. I flexed my claws experimentally. It was an amazing feeling. I darted. Forward. Back. Turn, jump, run, dodge, slash!

My claws left deep grooves in the bark of the tree. ((Sweet.))

I played a little more before getting on task and heading to Danielle's house. My parents would be working late, so I didn't have to worry about getting ragged on for staying out. It only took me a few steps before Jennifer found me.

((Sarah, is that you?))

((You're in town again?)) I asked.

((I was practicing my flying skills,)) she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

((Really?)) I asked, looking up.

((Have you tried the osprey yet?))

((No.))

((Do it. Right now.))

I could see her. She was a tiny dot against the blue sky. At least, I think it was her. I changed back to myself and then began the change to osprey. This time I shrunk, which was kind of disappointing after the tiger's sheer power.

It wasn't long before I was an osprey, and I flew up into the sky to join Jennifer. I could fly much higher than I had expected. It was easy to surpass even the height that Jennifer was at, what with the warm day pushing the hot air continuously upwards.

My eyes were fantastic. Even from up here, I could see everything on the ground with more clarity than I ever had.

((Wow,)) I commented.

((No kidding, eh?)) Jennifer said. ((That's not all you can do.)) She gave one powerful beat of her wings and tucked them into her sides, then angled her nose so that she began to fall headfirst.

((What are you doing?)) I asked her. I was trying to figure out if she'd done it on purpose or not.

((Diving,)) she said as she opened her wings and pulled up. ((You absolutely have to try it. It's the single most amazing thing I've ever done!))

So I dove. I beat my wings hard like Jennifer had done and tucked them into my sides. Using my tail, I angled my beak downwards and fell. The wind was rushing past my face. I was a javelin, slicing through the air. I just freefell for what seemed like an eternity. The ground was inching nearer and nearer. My speed was increasing. I was going to hit the ground if I didn't pull out soon. ((How do I pull out?)) I asked as calmly as I could.

((The osprey knows,)) Jennifer said.

I didn't know what she meant. I was panicking. I turned to the osprey side of me, but it was strangely passive. ((No it doesn't!)) I yelled. ((It's not doing anything!))

Jennifer seemed puzzled. ((Just let it take control.))

I tried. I really did. But nothing took 'control.' I was still plummeting towards the ground and if I didn't figure it out soon, I was going to dig my beak into the ground below. ((It's not working.))

((Then do it yourself!)) Jennifer's 'voice' was nearing a screech.

So I did the best I could. I adjusted my tail in the slightest and forced my head upwards. I opened my wings and tried to catch the air, but they didn't open at the same time. I started to tumble. Jennifer screamed. I didn't know which direction was which anymore.

I was going to die.

((Sarah!))

I kept falling. She could scream at me all she wanted, this still wasn't working. I was panicking. Sheer terror held me. I started going into shock. Oh god, why did I have to die like this? I wasn't even going to get a chance to fight. The irony crossed my mind more than once.

I pulled back from reality and braced myself for impact. Then the weirdest thing happened. I felt... a presence, I guess. I had felt it there before, but not this strong. In my withdrawal, the osprey had finally taken charge and was using its tail to balance us out. It flung out its wings at the perfect moment and caught the air expertly. We were just above the treeline. Another couple of seconds and we would have been killed. We flapped our wings hard towards a thermal. We caught it and turned until we were far above.

_Food._

We wanted food. We were hungry.

((Sarah.))

It was like waking up from a dream. Suddenly I was back. I had needed to withdraw completely before I could use the bird's instinct. I didn't know a lot at that point, but I knew that it wasn't a good thing.

((Yeah?)) I said.

((Was that real?)) she asked. ((You really couldn't?))

I thought about telling her the truth. But she wouldn't be able to see past the danger to the necessity. She would insist that I never use power again. But I had to. I would just have to be careful.

((Did I scare you?)) I asked with a laugh.


	6. Dude, He Totally Knows

Chapter 6

It wasn't long before we arrived at Danielle's house. It had been an unspoken decision that the meeting place was Jennifer's treehouse. When we arrived, Danielle and Keri were waiting for us.

"Cassidy's coming," Danielle said as we landed on the ground and changed back. Jennifer did the change in only about thirty seconds, whereas I took at least four times as long.

Jennifer patted her age-old companion on the head and started to go back to osprey. She turned to Danielle. ((Do you know what Sarah did?)) she said viciously.

Danielle shook her head and Jennifer launched into the story of my 'evil little trick.'

I waited for her to finish the story while petting Keri. She was a very affectionate dog, having not seen me or Jennifer in a week. She pushed her nose into my hand and looked up at me. It was sweet. I even kneeled down when she rolled over so I could scratch her belly. She was so carefree. She didn't have to worry about anything. Not about death, about invasions, about boys...

I looked up, realizing that Danielle and Jennifer had fallen silent. They were looking at me. Jennifer had finished telling her story.

"What?" I asked.

Danielle was examining my face. She wasn't stern-looking, but she didn't seem to be satisfied with what she saw. She was deep in concentration when Cassidy arrived.

((Hey everybody,)) the osprey said. She flew down into the field and landed. Danielle snapped out of it and turned to her. Cassidy was already turning back into herself and it looked a lot cooler than anyone else. First she grew, then her body started changing until she looked like some kind of harpy. But it took a long time. Longer than me. It was pretty how her skin and bodysuit still had feather patterns on them. Her legs formed into human legs, which was the least attractive part, aside from her beak, which sort of turned into big, pink lips before shrinking into her face. Her wings and tail disappeared, then her feather pattern.

I blinked. That was amazing. How had she done it?

"Sorry I'm late. The bird sort of wanted to go hunting..." She carefully avoided looking at me.

"Cool, we're all here," Danielle said.

I signed this to Jennifer.

Danielle jumped into business immediately. "I've overheard Leah and Kayla talking, and I think I've finally found something we can do to hurt the yeerks."

That perked my interest. No matter how close I got to killing myself moments earlier, a way to stop an alien invasion would forever brighten my day. "What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Kandrona is that stuff they eat. It's like some kind of a ray, and they need a generator to make it. Leah said that there's a way to make very small, portable ones that can be placed in stores and houses all over the town so people don't have to go on ships or underground to get it."

"Underground?" Cassidy asked.

"Yeah. There's a whole pool of yeerks under the city. But we'll worry about that later. Right now we need to worry about these portable things."

"How can we destroy them?" I asked.

"That's the easy part," Danielle said. "They're bringing in a shipment tonight at about one o'clock. On the outskirts of town. Then they're going to load them up in a FedEx truck and deliver them to the houses. We can intercept them at the site and destroy the stuff."

((Do we know exactly where?))

"Yeah. We can wait in an ambush. If we go fast, we could be in and out, job done, in a matter of minutes."

"Sounds good," I said. "So we'll meet here at midnight?"

"That's what I was thinking," she said. "Then we can scope out the place and get in position before they even think about arriving."

((Good plan.))

We looked at Cassidy. She had been the most reluctant to help before. Apparently saving the world wasn't on top of her to-do list.

"I'll be there," she said.

"Good," I said. "Is that all?"

((Actually,)) Jennifer said, ((If you guys wouldn't mind sticking around, I'd like it if we could hang out a while.))

I was still in a sort of confused mood about Jennifer. I didn't know if she was really my friend or not, or if it had been right of her to withdraw from society. But I accepted her invitation.

Cassidy chose not to join the party. She said something about a date with Mark and took off.

It turned out that Jennifer was more interested in learning how to speak and read than just 'hanging out.' Danielle and I sat up in the treehouse, which had conveniently been stacked with some of Danielle's favourite books from a long time ago. There was _Dr. Seuss_ and _Franklin_, then some more 'advanced' choices such as _The Babysitter's Club_ and _Goosebumps._

So the remainder of my afternoon was spent teaching the art of lip-reading and understanding the English language. I found myself wondering at one point how two-year-olds managed to pick up on this stuff. It seemed nearly impossible for Jennifer. Danielle was trying so hard to help. It was good, because I didn't want to try. Instead, I distracted myself by petting Keri and reading _Are You My Mother?_ I remembered that book. It was one of my favourites when I was a kid.

I was drawn from my childhood memories of reading with my mom when my stomach made a loud noise of discomfort. Danielle looked at her watch.

"Six-thirty. I guess it's supper time," she said. "You guys have any preferences? I think the choice tonight is the _a-la Pop Tarts_ or zeee _Kraft Diiner_." She said Kraft Diner with a heavy French accent, making Jennifer (as Keri at the time) and I burst out laughing, despite being six hours from a deadly mission. And despite the fact that Jennifer didn't actually understand until I explained with signs.

((I'll take the KD,)) Jennifer said.

"Ditto," I said.

"Cool. You wanna come give me a hand Sarah?"

I looked at Jennifer. She was changing back to herself. Keri was still a little afraid of the whole process, so she had made herself at home in the corner, growling. They would need a little time to spend with each other anyway. "Sure," I said.

We had only just descended from the treehouse when Danielle jumped on my case. "Did you do that on purpose?" she asked.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Ignore the osprey. When you were coming out of your dive. Don't try to tell me you were joking. Not even you're dumb enough to wait till the treeline to pull out. The instincts are there for a reason."

"Duh. I know that," I said.

She looked at me, waiting for me to elaborate. Normally I would have gotten mad at her for worrying about me. I suppose it was something Jennifer and I had in common. But Danielle just wasn't the kind of person you could get mad at. And she wasn't worrying about me, I reasoned, she was worried that it would interfere with her plans. Because I convinced myself she was being selfish, I could bring myself to tell her the truth.

"Look, the osprey never did anything," I said. "I backed up and told it to take control and nothing happened. I could barely feel it until I had withdrawn all the way."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was weird. I'll just have to learn how to do it myself," I said. "How hard can it be? Besides, it's not like I'm going to be diving all the time. Flying is about getting from A to B. Not a big deal. I won't need instincts for other animals, I can just use them."

"Okay," she said. "Just make sure you always practice with an animal before using it. Have you tried the tiger yet?"

"Yeah," I said. "It's not so hard to use."

"Good. That means we're all set for tonight."

We made small talk about predictions for how long it would take Jennifer to learn how to understand English. Neither of us mentioned the big IF: _if we lived_. We were casual about the mission. We told ourselves it would work. We weren't allowed to act afraid.

That didn't stop us from _actually_ being afraid. I was terrified. Dying on impact was one thing. Being shredded to death by a dozen or so blades was a different matter. I found myself wondering if I was going to regret that I hadn't dug my beak into the ground about a foot or so.

We arrived at Danielle's house. We had only just walked into the back door when we were greeted by the sounds of a guitar.

"Hey Maaaaaark!" Danielle called teasingly. "How was your date?"

Mark appeared at the bottom of the steps. "Great! And how was yours?" he paused. "Oops! I forgot—you didn't have one. Hey Sarah. I'd ask you how your week's been, but I don't think I need an answer."

It was a welcome change from the way everyone else greeted me. I smiled a little, then reverted to my depressed act.

"You don't have to," he said, coming upstairs with his guitar. "You and I both know she wouldn't want you to act like that."

I found that a little rude. Mark hardly knew Jennifer. "How would you know?" I asked.

"You know," he said, "you're not the only one who knew her. We heard everything she ever had to say from you, and unless you were just lying about what she said, she was a pretty cheery person."

I sort of admired that he could give me the hard truth and in a way insult me while making me feel better.

"That's why everyone was so surprised on Monday," he continued casually, moving past us and up into the living room. "She just didn't seem like that kind of a person." He sat on the couch and picked a white-gold dog hair off the fabric and examined it closely before discarding it.

_Keri's_ hair.

He strummed his guitar experimentally. "Any requests?"

I was glad that I could drop the depressed act. Danielle and I went up to the kitchen. She opened the French doors between the two rooms so we could talk to her brother.

"What's that song you played yesterday?" she asked.

"The Singing Twilight," he replied. "Learned it from the composer himself."

I assumed that the 'composer' must have been one of his friends or teachers.

"Play that one," she said.

So he played. As Danielle and I pulled out two boxes of Kraft Dinner, Mark played the most beautiful song I have ever heard. It was slow, classical style, but with a sense of liveliness. Like someone was sad, but they still had hope.

_Like us._

I could tell why Danielle liked this song.


End file.
